The opening pyro hit and we're ready to go. Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler welcomed us to the show and we're ready to go. They put over the network television debut of Wrestlemania XXIV on MyNetwork TV.
Batista's music hit and he came out to the ring.
Batista v. Santino Marella
Santino popped up on the ring and put over the honk-o-meter for us all to view. He then whipped out a brain barometer. He said the avg. human has six trillion brain cells. Santino has 10 trillion. Batista on the other hand, only has 12. Batista's laughing because honestly, this is pretty hilarious. He's leaving Batista in worse shape than the US economy.
Batista clocked Santino with a huge lariat before nailing him with multiple shoulder thrusts in the corner. He followed it up with a big whip followed by a clothesline before nailing a spine buster. One big Batista Bomb later, that's all she wrote.
Winner: Batista via pin fall
After the match, Beth got on the ring apron and was talking trash to Batista. As he smiled at her, JBL showed up from behind and leveled Batista with a clothesline from hell. Batista's selling it like he's a dead deer. Twitch and all.
Todd Grisham is in the back with Shawn Michaels. He said HBK would team with a mystery partner. HBK said ten years ago when he trained Cade he knew he was good but what happened last week wouldn't ever happen again. HBK put over the ladder match at No Mercy before Grisham asked him who his partner would be. HBK said it wouldn't be Batista... he teased it being Hogan and Austin and even Bret Hart. He said he needed to find a partner who actually liked him.
****Commercial****
JTG v. The Miz
JTG and Miz traded go behinds before Miz backed JTG up into the corner. JTG reversed a whip before being dropped onto the apron. After a flip for t he heck of it, JTG hit a shoulder block and a rolling snap mare for a one count.
JTG grabbed a side headlock and hit a diving upper cut before getting hung up on the top rope. Miz slammed him into the corner before hitting his running knee. Miz stomped away on JTG on the ground and dropped a leg drop across the throat for a two count.
Miz slapped on a cravat. JTG fought out and caught a roll up but Miz kicked out and went back on the advantage with a lariat. We're back in the cravat before JTG blocked a lariat and a kick before JTG hit a springboard leg drop. JTG hit a wheel kick before hitting a second rope senton for a two count.
He gathered Miz before eating a punch to the grill. JTG dodged an upper cut and flat backed Miz with a punch. He was distracted by the shenanigans from Shaad and Morrison on the outside just long enough for Miz to hit the kick, knee, neck breaker 'reality check' combo for the win.
Winner: The Miz via pin fall
Jamie Noble is approaching Jillian about something. She sang, then Dolph Ziggler showed up. He's got a mean hand shake.
****Commercial****
King William Regal and Leyla are watching from a throne on the stage.
Paul Burchill & Katie Lea v. Jamie Noble & Mickie James
Looks like Mickie will hang out with everyone's favorite pervert.
Burchill and Noble started things off. Burchill put a big beat down on Noble with punches and knees. Noble fought back briefly only to be nailed into the corner. Katie Lea looked for the cover but only got a two count. Katie tagged Noble with some kicks on the ground until Noble pushed her into Mickie. Mickie tags in and puts a few forearms in her face before hitting a snap mare.
Burchill tripped up Mickie allowing Katie to get back in the match. Katie grabbed Mickie and has her in a modified under-hook chicken wing. The crowd rallied Mickie who fought back with some punches and hit a neck breaker.
Noble hopped around looking for a tag on the outside of the ring. Both women struggled to the corner. Noble got the hot tag and began uncorking some awesome stuff including a missile drop kick for a two count that was interrupted by Katie Lea. Mickie cut Katie off but Burchill was able to hit a shot to the gut to get back into things. Noble countered a neck breaker attempt with an awesome northern lights suplex into a cross arm breaker. Burchill taps and it's over.
Winners: Jamie Noble & Mickie James via submission
After the match Noble and James taunted King Regal and Leyla who were observing from the stage.
****Commercial****
The Priceless crew is in the bowels of the arena looking for Kane it looks like. They said he was a second generation superstar because his dad was Paul Bearer or something. He aid if they maybe acted as a unit out there, they should be ok. Dibiase said he wanted to make sure they were on the same page. Kane turned to him and said he doesn't take orders from anyone. He said he was going to massacre Rey Mysterio tonight whether they were on the same page or not. He told them to stay out of his way.
Lance Cade has some new music. And a hell of a cow lick. He put over his win over Shawn Michaels last week. Truth be told, in the last 3 months, he learned more from Chris Jericho than he learned from HBK in 10 years. He said his proof of that was last year. Jericho was a better teacher, influence and better person... period. He said as far as tonight goes, he could care less who his partner is going to be. He was either going to lose to him like last week or lose like he's going to this Sunday. He said when No Mercy was over, it'd be Chris Jericho who was still World Heavyweight Champion.
****Commercial****
Rey Mysterio, Evan Bourne, CM Punk & Kofi Kingston v. Cody Rhodes, Manu, Ted Dibiase & Kane
Manu started with Bourne and Bourne's using Mysterio as an axebefore being catapulted over the top rope. The tag champs are over the top rope and getting hit with planchas. Mysterio's on Kane with a senton... everyone's flying.... commercial break go!
****Commercial****
We came back to Cody controlling Evan Bourne in the middle of the ring with a chicken wing..Manu tagged in and his pony tail is off so you know it's business. He drops Bourne on his head for a two count before punching him in the face for a little while. While Bourne was able to get a tag, Rhodes cut off Punk rather quickly and tied him up into knots on the mat.
After the leg lock sequence, Kane tagged in and just began stomping on Kane because that's what he does. He choked Punk in the corner while looking at Mysterio the whole time. The heels are clicking on all cylinders as Ted Dibiase tagged in and let Kane upper cut Punk in the back of the dome before working that leg again. Punk was worked to the corner and tried to fight out but got cut off. Rhodes tagged in and after a double team suplex, got a two count.
Rhodes stayed on the leg stomping and tearing away at it before tagging in Dibiase who came sailing off the top rope with an axe handle. Manu wants him some and tags in and drops a knee on the, uh, knee.... Manu put on a twisting leg lock on Punk who tried to get a roll up but Manu managed to quickly escape and envelop him with a big forearm. Rhodes is in and he and Cody slug it out a bit before Kane's coming in.
Rhodes held the leg down so Kane could stomp on it and Kane, yet again, is jaw jacking with Mysterio. The lapse in attention cost him as the former world champ was able to hit an enzeguiri and almost get to the corner except Kane PULVARIZED Mysterio with a big boot. Rhodes tagged in and missed an elbow drop allowing Kofi Kingston to come in and clean house on the heels.
Kofi hit a big boom boom leg drop for a two count but Manu broke it up. Bourne took out Manu while Kane tagged in and looked for a choke slam on Kofi. Rey saved the day with a drop kick before taking Dibiase over the top rope with a head scissors. Kingston leapt at Kane in the corner who caught him in a HUGE FREAKING HUGE clothesline for the win.
Winners: Kane, Manu, Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase via pin fall
Rey looks a little shocked. Kane's just laughing.
****Commercial****
Raw GM Mike Adamle is in the ring. He said Kane made a request and since he won, he'd honor it. He said if Kane won this Sunday, Rey Mysterio would remove his mask in the middle of the ring. Then Randy Orton's music hit.
Adamle asked him if he could help him. Orton wanted to know if he had his cell phone on him. He was assuming he had to call Shane McMahon and make sure it was ok. Wants to know if he shines his shoes and picks up his dry cleaning. Orton didn't appreciate his decision not to re-suspend CM Punk last week and he needs to do it right now. If he wasn't happy, Mike wouldn't be, either. Mike may run things on Raw, but when he was healthy, he would own Raw. When he was back he'd need Orton on his side more than he needed Shane McMahon. JBL's music hit and he came out.
He's in a bad mood because he lost money on the stock market tonight. He said he was JBL and his wife is powerful... uh, yeah. He said he'd defeat Batista next week and would be the world champion shortly. He said next week, Orton would be talking about the past. He called Orton a one armed gimp living in the past. He wanted Adamle to make sure bozo the one armed clown never got a shot at the title. Batista's music hit and he pops up behind him and JBL knows what's coming. Batista hit a big spear and looked down a JBL with the mic. He said he knew JBL had a bad week, but at No Mercy, it'd get a lot worse.
Santino is in the back giving his number out on the phone. Beth is there and glaring at him wondering who he was talking to. Some sick kid named Frankie he promised to win his match for tonight. He told her to forget about Frankie as it was her time tonight. She doesn't think it's a good idea right now. She couldn't have him screwing it up for her this week. He said there was a reason she didn't have a Fabulous Moolah-meter... said it must be a female problem...
****Commercial****
Candice Michelle & Kelly Kelly v. Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall
Candice opened up with some big strikes to start things off before tagging in Kelly who grabbed an arm wringer and tagged Candice right back in for a axe handle off the top rope. Beth overpowered Candice though and tagged in Jillian who immediately went after her with strikes to the face. Candice fought out of the corner and hit a side Russian leg sweep for a quick one count.
Candice went for a head scissors but was planted with a face buster before Jillian stepped on her face. Beth tagged in and delivered a kick to the mid section before nailing a pair of back breakers for a two count. Jillian tagged in and slammed Candice's face off the mat a few times before slapping on a rear chin lock. Jillian grabbed a surf board before Jillian slammed her head into the canvas yet again.
She whipped Candice to the corner only to eat some knees on the hand spring elbow attempt. Candice hit a heel kick and made the hot tag to Kelly who hit some forearms on Beth. She hit a nice head scissors move before flipping out of a caught kick only to get clocked with a clothesline for a cover attempt that was broken up by Candice.
Jillian dragged Candice out of the ring. Kelly went for a roll up but Beth rolled with the momentum and hit her tiger clutch face buster for the win.
Winners: Jillian Hall & Beth Phoenix via pin fall
****Commercial****
Deuce v. The Great Khali.... oh good lord it's the Great Charlie
Runjin Singh is even here...
Haas is having another identity crisis. He cuts the promo of the year. Singh says 'behold his awesome power'. Some more non sense and Singh says 'when prepared correctly, curry is both nutritious and delicious'.
He wants Deuce to hit the ropes and he chopped him in the head. Deuce hit a kick to the gut only for Haas to kill him with a head butt. He went for the Charlie bomb, but Deuce hit a drop kick. Deuce hit a kick to the gut and a face buster before he got a big boot in the grill. Haas fired up and went to the top rope and hit a flying lariat for the win. The whig is back on and he's screaming some more.
Winner: Charlie Haas via pin fall
Now Khali is here and Haas looks scared or really excited. Singh is making the introduction. The Great Charlie and the Great Khali. They're 'aaaah-ing' each other. Khali is struggling not to laugh and instead chops Haas in the head and aaaaaahhhhhs us all.
****Commercial****
World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho came down to the ring with Lance Cade and said he was insulted when people began wishing him luck in his match. He was better than HBK. Jericho showed everyone how he was going to smash Michaels face with the ladder as Cade demonstrated it all for us. He declared he'd beat him unconscious and he'd slam the ladder on his neck. He said he was the best in the world and when you were that good, you didn't need luck.
****Commercial****
Chris Jericho & Lance Cade v. Shawn Michaels & Triple H
Triple H quickly flattened Jericho only to go for the high knee and get caught nearly in the Walls of Jericho. Lance Cade got the tag and exploded into the ring at Triple H with strikes but was quickly cut down with right hands.
HBK tagged in and he nailed Cade with a clothesline before tackling Chris Jericho and chasing him around the ring side area. Cade caught him with a big boot on his way into the ring before tagging in the champion who quickly hammered away on HBK's head. Jericho nailed some shoulder thrusts in the corner before tagging in Lance Cade who hit a shot to the gut.
Jericho tagged right back in and hit a snap mare and cinched in a modified sleeper hold as the crowd attempted to rally Michaels. Michaels broke the hold and hit a flying forearm and the two are left flailing on the mat. HBK made it to the corner and here comes the WWE Champion.
Triple H hit the high knee and the face buster before dispatching of Chris Jericho on the ring apron. He hit a big clothesline and then dumped Cade to the mat with a big spine buster. Triple H went for the pedigree but instead got nailed with a Code Breaker. Cade hit a huge lariat on Michaels as he and Cade hammered away on Michaels in the mat. The Ref calls for the bell and it's a DQ.
Winners: Triple H & Shawn Michaels via DQ
The two continued the assault before getting a ladder out. Jericho was in the ring with the ladder and then noticed Triple H with the sledge hammer. Jericho took off and Cade got nailed. Michaels lined Cade up and nailed him with sweet chin music before Triple H capped it off with a pedigree.
HBK and Jericho stared each other down before Michaels scaled the ladder and delivered the big flying body splash onto Jericho.
